Australia

Jan 26th was our first day in Australia and in Melbourne. We were delighted with the Brooklyn Arts Hotel, our home for five nights. It's a quirky, arty place, run by a rather fearsome retired architect and film maker. There are amazing pieces of art everywhere and it attracted a very theatrical crowd so there were some interesting conversations over breakfast. Started off with trip on free tourist shuttle to get an idea of what the city was like. "Let's stay on the bus all the way round for a change" said Helen. Two stops later we got off for coffee. Back on the bus and then off again three stops later to visit the Museum of Immigration. Spent most of the visit in an exhibition focusing on the forced migration of British children early in the twentieth century. Although we knew much of what happened from the film Oranges and Sunshine, it was still tear inducing. Excellent museum. One of the things the exhibition demonstrated was how welcoming Australia had been to the thousands of immigrants- white immigrants that is.up until ?.????? There was a policy of encouraging white immigrants and gradually breeding out the indigenous Aboriginal population.

Starting off on the tour shuttle was not the best way as we didn't seem to see too much of interest; got even worse when the bus pulled up outside a shopping area and the driver said we had ten minutes to look around. Like Meadowhall with sunshine hmmmm ... Things picked up when we abandoned the bus and started to walk along the river. Today was Australia Day so there was a real party atmosphere everywhere with buskers every few metres. Spectacular aerial display from ( we think) Australian Air Force in small prop-driven planes. Right over the city centre, amazing. Moving on from there we came across the absolute highlight of the day, if not, potentially, the whole trip: a wood chopping championship event. Almost lost for words we watched as beefy blokes set to with razor sharp axes to reduce defenceless lumps of wood to smaller bits. The commentator had us in stitches as he shared fascinating facts with his audience such as the way that the wood chips landed was crucial and would tell the astute chopper which axe to use. Ramping up the excitement, they brought on the chainsaw race. Not just ordinary machines, these were racing chainsaws; gasp! Highly tuned machines, they ran at 25000 rpm as opposed to the regular 15000rpm and they use racing fuels and Castrol R oil: a boys toys paradise! No longer able to cope with the tension and excitement, we headed off for the Botanical Gardens and a bit of piece. It was best we left as we were finding it harder and harder to control our hysteria while everyone around us was taking it very seriously.

The Gardens were beautifully laid out with all sorts of indigenous trees, bushes and grasses. Really enjoyed walking round although it got pretty hot. Set off for home hoping to find a Belgian Beer Bar. Failed. We did, however, hop on the free city circular tram and hop off near a back street pub not too far from the hotel. Apart from the beer costing £6ish a pint, it was an ok pub. Called in at The Little Creatures Dining Hall on the way home for something to eat. A cavernous place serving good food and good beer. First time either of us had seen a pizza with potato on. Well worth the detour.

Not always enthusiastic about getting up and out early but today was well worth it. Left hotel at 6:45am to jump on a bus taking us on a Great Ocean Road trip. Driver called Tracy proved to be the most lively, enthusiastic and stereotypically Australian tour guide imaginable.

Turned out to be a long day with some bum-numbing stretches of road but the scenery was amazing; great long stretches of coast with rolling surf. Road was built as a job creation scheme for soldiers returning from the WW 1 - slap in the face really: risk life for country, come home a hero and go build a road is all the thanks you get! Took 30 odd years to build and it's quite an achievement given they started with a dirt track and ended with nearly 250 km of road. Some lovely little towns along the way that would be worth coming back to. Apostles themselves a slight anti-climax but maybe that was because of the zillions of people crowded along the paths. We had never seen so many people having their photograph taken whilst ignoring the stunning scenery behind! The other major highlight was the stop at Loch Ard Gorge which is one of those take-your-breath-away spots. The Gorge is basically two beaches split by a small headland, crystal clear sea and then it narrows out to sea. Hard to describe but would gladly go back there. Returning to the coach from one section, we played 'Let's see how many Japanese tourists there are' with Helen counting the Japanese and me counting everyone else. Roughly two Japanese to any other nationality! One guy took seventeen photographs without once stopping to actually take in the views ... bloody tourists!

Arrived back at the hotel knackered but so glad we had taken the trip.
In NZ, Beth suggested we meet up with her mate Bob when we get to Melbourne. Helen rang on our first day and arranged to meet on Saturday and we could maybe go round the zoo or he would drive us around and show us the sights. Rang him this morning and got no answer and this left us in limbo which had a knock-on effect for the rest of the day.

Discovered more of the local area around the hotel. We had seen Gertrude St and Brunswick St already so this time went on to Smith St; a really interesting lesson in gentrification and the tension between the old and the new. We had already picked up from bits and pieces that this area used to be pretty run down with Aboriginal communities making up a big chunk of the population; there is even a pub with a plaque on saying it used to be called the black club because it's where Aboriginal people used to congregate. As we turned into Smith St, there was, initially, the continuation of the cafe scene from on Gertrude St but then, within a hundred metres or so, it changed noticeably. The shops became more run down, selling cheap goods and there was an edgy feeling to it; not dangerous, just very different. We ended up in a coffee bar which had an article on the wall about the owner who was trying to attract local business to the street and challenge gentrification. Walking back up the street, we passed the first group of obvious Aboriginal people we had seen and you could see that the top end of the street had absolutely nothing to do with them. Sadly, they illustrated what seems to be the pattern where indigenous people are marginalised and were sat about drinking and sleeping on the street.

Still trying to overcome the lost feeling from the morning, we headed off to look at Fitzroy Park close by the hotel famed for having Cook's Cottage and a model Tudor village. Cook's Cottage was shipped from the UK in crates and rebuilt in the park brick by brick. The cottage wasn't actually the place where Cpt Cook lived; it belonged to his parents and no-one is sure whether or not he ever lived there. Seems a lot of work for a point well stretched. In 1932, the then owner decided to sell it but stipulated that it must stay in England. Upon receiving an offer from Australia that was nearly three times what had been offered in the UK, this patriotic soul swallowed all pride and changed England to Empire ... so much for principles! The Tudor model village was made by a pensioner in London and he sent it to the state of Victoria as a way of saying thank you for sending food to Britain during WWII. Left the park feeling Britain had done a whole lot better out of the deal than Victoria!

As ever with 'lost' days, we ended up walking bloody miles. We tried to use the shuttle bus to ge us close to the aforementioned Belgian beer bar. Unfortunately the nearest stop was miles away from the bar but in true traveller (stubborn) mode we decided to push on. Finally got there to find a large chunk of Melbourne's well off twenty somethings seated at long tables drinking pricey beer and listening to high volume dance music in blazing sunshine. After waiting long enough for Helen to sample bubble gum beer (actually flavoured pear cider) we ran away. Decided to take a tram back to the city but couldn't work out how to pay so got off again. One of us was all for braving it out and risking jail; the other one won.

Yet another fab meal on Gertrude Street at the Birdman Eating place. Highly recommend this. Can't do this too often though or we wil not have enough money for the rest of the trip. On first glance, Australia seems very expensive. Could be something to do with the very strong pound.


Other than a few street people, we were struggling to see or find out much todo with Aboriginal culture so we headed for the the Kaori Museum which is a museum devoted to the indigenous people who used to live in SE Australia. It was good to get a picture of the history of this area prior to Eurpoean settlement and good old Cook. Fascinating place and well worth a visit.

Blew the budget with yet another great meal on Gertrude St. Place called Landra this time. The most amazing char grilled figs wrapped in Parma ham with goats cheese curd followed by smoked eel risotto for me and a fabulous tagliatelle for Helen. Yet another great find.

Anyone spending time in Melbourne should definitely stay in the Fitzroy area and eat/drink on Gertrude, Brunswick and Smith Streets. Also highly recommend the Brooklyn Arts Hotel; maybe not everyone's cup of tea but we loved it.
Up at 5:15 to get a tram to Southern Cross station and the bus to the airport for our flight to Cairns which was longer than our flight to Australia from New Zealand. This was our first concrete illustration of how bloody big this country is. Everything perfect until we went to pick the hire car up at Cairns airport. Tony would have put money on the fact that he had booked the car but it turned out he had not. The whole Cairns to Sydney journey was built around the fact that he had found a really cheap car hire. Turned out to be a very expensive cock-up as the car we ended up hiring cost twice as much as the original one he had 'hired'. Helen nearly in tears seeing us having to cut short our trip and go home early as we would have run out of money. Nearly had our first fall out but in true Brit fashion we took deep breaths and moved on. Left Cairns airport feeling sick and glum. The unbelievable heat and humidity didn't help. Neither of us had experienced anything like it. Tony looked like he was entering a wet tee shirt competition after about 10 minutes.

Arrived early in Gordonvale, 20 mins south of Carins and the town where we had arranged our first HelpX, so went for look around town. Noticed a lot more indigenous people around than we had seen elsewhere. One old guy sitting on the grass was picture with a bush of grey hair and a long, long beard. Only place we could find for food and coffee was the florist! Once we had got over the surprise of finding food and flowers in the same place and she had sorted her latest floral order, we ended up with very tasty quiches and salad and not too bad coffee. Strange place Gordonvale ...

After initial difficulties, we found our HelpX home for the week. We are staying at the home of a woman called Seva for the week helping with the garden and odd jobs in return for beds and food. What a great place: single storey house with deck and verandah extension complete with pool in the garden. And what a garden! House unlocked when we arrived with a note from Seva saying make yourselves at home and try the pool! A good place this. Living proof of the fact we are in the tropics, there are banana, avocado and mandarin trees plus all sorts of exotic plants. Further testimony to the tropics was the temperature: 35+ and 70% humidity. Thought we were going to die! Neither of us have never sweated so much anywhere and that was just sitting down! God only knows what it will be like working in this heat. Evening meal of slow-cooked silverside of beef which turned out to be like corned beef: delicious!

Had a great evening sitting chatting with Seva after dinner. We have really landed on our feet here. She is same age as Tony and an art teacher at a secondary school in Inisfail, nearly an hour away further south. The house really reflects her nature; full of Buddhas, eastern art and her own paintings. We are going to have a good week here. She is warm, open and lots of fun.

Found out what it is like working in this heat/humidity. Phew! Sweat, sweat and more sweat. Same temperatures as Melbourne but totally energy sapping. Luckily, there is the pool so it's been work an hour then plunge for ten minutes. Apart from re-potting two trees, it hasn't been the gardening we expected. We have been given a list of basic DIY jobs to work through which includes waxing a low table, varnishing woodwork outside, painting some wooden steps and building a small arbour to support a grave vine. Did our four hours in the morning then stayed around the house in the afternoon. First day and evening of our plan to eat healthy and not drink: so far so good. Weather forecast has been talking about the band of low pressure sitting off the east coast which could mean a cyclone ... hmmmm, didn't plan for that.

When she got home from work, Seva took us for a swim in the local creek. We put absolute faith in her understanding of the habits of crocodiles and plunged into a very cool small river for a much needed swim. Evening dip in the pool in the dark ... loverly.

No cyclone yet but we did get a taste of how it can rain in northern Queensland. Luckily, most of it seems to fall during the night.

More of the same today, working through the jobs list. Apart from the sweating, it's actually quite good fun. Drove into Cairns for a look around but, after an hour, the heat drove us away. Cairns is a nice place which looks as though it could be worth exploring more - in the winter!

Helen really struggling today - no energy and headaches. Liberal helping of rehydration fluid seemed to be the answer. It's that hot ...

Next day, knocked more jobs off the list although a slightly shorter day as we decided to follow up some of Seva's suggestions for places to visit. Headed first for The Boulders, not really knowing what to expect. Longer drive than anticipated - everything in this bloody country is further than we think! Stopped off for a coffee in smallish town called Babinda. Not the best place for coffee but much amusement brought about by a poster in the cafe window warning about Dengue Fever - one more nail in Australia's coffin according to Helen.

The Boulders turned out to be an amazing gorge cut by the river, so deep you couldn't actually see the water once it started to drop. The walk to the viewing points was a mixture of awe and anxiety (will there be crocodiles? ...are those the leaves that sting? ... what about spiders? etc, etc). Some amazing butterflies particularly an iridescent blue and black one called Ulysses Butterfly. All thoughts of nasties disappeared once we saw the full length of the gorge. Walking back, we decided on a swim in the river which cooled us down beautifully. Interesting conversation with a young Ozzie woman who seemed fixated with gory stories once we had explained our travel plans. Started with disappearing backpackers in Cambodia then moved on to macabre incidents on her own doorstep. We quickly said our goodbyes before she could go any further.

We had planned to go on to a swamp area to look for crocs but, just as we left The Boulders, it started to rain; by the time we got down to the main highway, it was torrential so we decided to head back to Seva's to finish off some jobs. Highlight of the evening was the eagerly awaited beer that Helen brought back for Tony. Up to that point, we had had no alcohol for six days and that didn't change as Helen brought low alcohol beer. Talk about anti-climax! Actually, the guy who sold it should take the blame as he told Helen it was the only beer they had, failing to point out the absence of alcohol.

Having worked a fullish day yesterday, we set off north to go to Port Douglas. Having read that the drive was a beautiful combination of hills and coast we were disappointed for quite a while out of Cairns as neither were very evident. Eventually, however, the gap ahead started to narrow and we got the promised views out over the Ocean. Pretty impressive.

Port Douglas is a sweet place, not too big (but just as bloody hot!). Because of the heat, we didn't stay long before heading off inland to have a look at the Daintree Forest. Very nice, very bush,very hot! Headed back south towards Cairns defeated by the humidity. Passing fab beaches on the way back prompted the first rant from Helen on the severity of Aussie wildlife: "What's the point of wonderful beaches when, on the way to the sea for a swim, you run the risk of being attacked by crocodiles or bitten by snakes and then, when you get into the water, any one of half a dozen lethal jellyfish are waiting to spoil your day ... to say nothing of bloody sharks! ". Not a happy bunny.

Got back in one piece and earned some more time off with a few hours work on the tables.

As it was the weekend, Seva joined us today for a day out and a trip inland to the Atherton Tablelands. These are the hills behind the coast. Well worth a visit particularly as the air is cooler and less humid. Bliss! Drove round to a running commentary from our host; stopped to buy the biggest (and cheapest) mangoes from a roadside stall; and met a South African friend of Seva's who had not only hung onto that horrible 'Yaaaahh' for yes, but had emphasised it to the point of being comic. Also stopped to look at a couple of amazing fig trees. These were nothing like the ones we are used to; they are huge and have huge root systems that come down from high branches. Absolutely amazing. What we found out the following day was that whilst we had been driving across the Tablelands, we were chased by a mini cyclone. Luckily it never caught up with us.

Sunday was the big social day: we were due to meet Seva's domino playing salsa friends for an afternoon of fun, food and dominoes. Seva and Helen spent the morning cooking which included an orange drizzle cake and kangaroo mince shepherds pie along with some experimental chocolate cakes.. nothing if not eclectic! When the friends hadn't arrived at the expected time of 1pm, Seva thought nothing of it; by 1:15, Seva began to wonder where there were; by 1:30, she began to think that something was amiss. At 1:45, she decided to ring to see where they were. Peels of laughter told us that they weren't coming to Seva's, we should have been going there! Hurriedly packing food into the car, we headed off to find the domino players. Had a thoroughly enjoyable, if slightly surreal, afternoon.

Sad day as we were leaving Seva's. We hadn't known what to really expect from the HelpX experience but we had a brilliant time with her and found a friend down under.

Stop for the night was Airlie Beach which a lot of people rave about but, to be honest, was an example of the many places to be avoided in Oz. Basically a party town, Airlie was full of young gap year type travellers and we couldn't wait to get out of there. Went for a meal and began the sequence of 'they've forgotten about us' meals. After waiting nearly forty minutes Tony went to the bar to ask about our meals and the combined look from the young guy who had served us and the chef told him all we needed to know. The free drinks persuaded us to stay and pretty decent meals arrived in record time. All in all, wouldn't hurry back to Airlie Beach.

When checking in to our accommodation, Helen spotted a cut price boat trip out to the Barrier Reef on a sailing catamaran so we went for it. When we were loading on to the boat the woman who was crewing asked if anyone had a diving qualification. As much out of jest as anything Tony said he had but it was many years ago that he qualified. Shouldn't have said anything because she then came round and ... well, to cut a long story short, he signed up to do the dive. There was Tony and one other guy with experience so she said she would take them separately from the beginners and they would be doing a dive that is ranked as the third best in the world. Imagine the disappointment when we got to the dive site to find that the sea was too rough to land people on the beach and we had to settle for a few hours on a large sand bar and a shallow dive just off the beach. As we were getting out of the inflatable to paddle ashore, Helen unfortunately dropped the camera into the sea which, surprise surprise buggered it. Tony thoroughly enjoyed the dive although it wasn't that deep. He seemed to remember most of what he needed to not to make a fool of himself and found that he still really enjoyed it. Also discovered that coral is bloody hard when you catch your hands on it but, other than that, he saw very little as the lumpy sea and winds meant the visibility was not too good. After getting rid of the diving gear we snorkelled for a while and, with the sea settling, saw much more including a beautiful multi-yellow parrot fish, a biggish ray and, joy of joys, a turtle. Almost missed it as it was sitting on the bottom in about five metres of water. Tony managed to get down to it though and it just sat there and let him stroke its shell without any fuss. Such an amazing privilege.

Continued on south the next day, heading today for the town of Rockhampton - or Rockie as Australians call it. Sounds kind of quaint but actually it's not. Stopped at an information site for directions to the youth hostel and, after showing us where it was, the rather creepy man behind the counter asked us what we were doing that evening. Slightly unsure of where this could lead us, we told him we had nothing planned. "There's two for one meals at the Great Western Hotel" he said, "and it's practice bull riding night in the arena at the back of the hotel.". Well, what else is there to do on a Wednesday night in Rockie? We found the hotel which turned out to be like a wild west saloon and settled in with our bargain meal meat mountains to await the bulls. First up was a six year old on a small calf. As the gate opened, he 'burst' into the arena with one of the helpers holding him on and another hanging onto the tail of the calf. For a while, that set the tone of our evening and we sat there giggling not so quietly to ourselves. That is until it got to the more senior riders and the bulls got considerably bigger. When one of the bulls that had thrown its rider careered into the fencing and the whole ring shook, you realised that this had got a whole lot more serious. We had a ball and discovered yet another sub-culture that has to be experienced to be believed. The whole night was rounded off by me being pulled in for a random breath test on the way home. Fortunately pretty confident having only had one schooner of beer and we were quickly on our way back to the hostel.

Verdict on Rockhampton? Don't go there unless you have to or you fancy an entertaining night at the bull riding!

After another long drive down the Bruce Highway, we arrived at our next HelpX place to find no-one obviously at home. Turned out that Nick was kipping and Helen woke him up with a phone call - not a good start ... House is situated a few kilometres out of Pomona and, despite the nearest neighbours being pretty close, it feels pretty isolated and out in the bush. Isolation reinforced by the helper accommodation which turned out to be a 1950s caravan situated down a long track with no toilet and very lumpy beds. Hmmmm ... However, if the evening meal anything to go by, it's going to be an ok if slightly scary week. Not only was the environment scary, but the family dynamics were somewhat intimidating. The family at the house consisted of Rita and her 33 year old autistic son and her, relatively new partner, Nick, a 65 year old antique dealer originally from Melbourne; a man used to being on his own and certainly not a man used to compromise.

First full day as Helpers. Main job turned out to be decorating the big room under the house. Apparently used to be where Cedric lived but now that he has his own place down the track, Rita wants to turn it into a room that can be rented out. In her eyes, a day's work: wrong! First job was cleaning the room from top to bottom which Helen and Rita tackled while Tony went to help Cedric concrete in some poles for the shed he is building. First insight into the Cedric-Nick dynamic: Nick showed very little tolerance and Cedric seemed to do everything wrong. Very glad when that little job was done and we could leave poor old Cedric to labour on on his own. Next job for Tony was clearing weeds from a patch of land to the side of the house. Had to put on long trousers and shoes and don long leather gloves to protect against the stinging Velcro Vine and the possibility of Huntsman spiders; damn bush! By eleven o'clock it was unbearably hot so turned attentions to the inside decorating job. Phew, cool at last.

Helen had made a valiant effort of scrubbing the filthy walls. There was a still stained square patch in one corner. When Tony returned from his stint of gardening, he was quietly asked to remove the dinner plate sized Huntsman Spider that was lurking there. He hesitated and Rita deftly knocked it off with a brush and swept it out of the room. Shit. That means it could come back!

Two walls had been been painted a vibrant blue colour and they took forever to paint over plus there was the horrible job of getting paint into all of the mortar joints between the blocks. A long day.

Went for a short 'this is where we live' drive with Nick and Rita and ended up in a brilliant pub in Boreen Point for a relatively short Friday night session. Great pub. Apparently, it was moved to its current location from elsewhere - they cut it into three, stuck it on the back of a lorry, brought it to Boreen Point and stuck it back together.

Walking down to the track from the house to the caravan by the single light of a head torch is proving to be challenging. On tonight's walk, Helen spotted a huge spider's web stretching across the path just in time to stop Tony walking into it. The spider in the middle of the web wasn't that big but around here, you never know ... While Tony was playing the light backwards and forwards trying to find a way past the web, Helen shrieked "What's that?" and pointed to a large dark shape scurrying too and fro across the path behind the web. Took a few heart stopping moments to realise it was the much enlarged shadow of the spider in the web as the torch light played across it! Giggling and feeling rather foolish, we made it back to the van in one piece.

Saturday was our first day off so we opted for coastal places and beaches (good move as this is Sunshine Beach area). First stop Noosa Heads which turned out to have an excellent pie shop. Had a chunky beef pie which was delicious. Went on to the National Park which is situated on a headland just outside of town. First thing we saw was a bloody big monitor lizard just ambling across the path minding its own business. Wouldn't like to argue with those claws and tail! Went for a shortish walk on the coastal path; gorgeous coastline and small beaches; first sight of real Australian surf. Next stop Peregion a bit further down the coast. Went to recommended patisserie and had excellent coffee and pastries: yummy. Spent a great hour or so on the beach alternately soaking up the sun and playing in the surf. Although the sea was really warm, there was no chance of a swim; just diving into breaking waves and being washed backwards at alarming rates. Such good fun despite Helen having to continually hold onto her bikini bottoms which threatened to disappear in each wave. Finally headed a bit further north to Sunshine Beach where we repeated the sun/surf fun and games. This area seems to be a strangely contrasting mixture of brilliant beaches which are the haunts of the local surfers and newly built hotels and shops which are the haunt of the wealthy. Hmmmm ... jury out but likely to return a verdict of not for us.

Intending to call into the Boreen Point pub for a drink on the way home, we turned off the main road hoping for a short cut. The short cut plan failed but we finally got to see kangaroos. There were five grey kangaroos on what seemed to be someone's front lawn. Great to finally see them after hours of strained necks while driving. Finally found the pub and had the planned drink. All in all, a great day out.

Tonight was pretty damp and the walk down to the van was 'exciting' to say the least. Tony went down on his own at one point and was intrigued to see lots of what appeared to be small jewel-like reflections being picked up in the head torch light. On closer inspection, these turned out to be spider eyes. Amazing! When we both headed down later, there were any number of frogs and toads boinging all over the place and we almost walked into a snake slithering across the path just before the caravan. Needless to say, we were both nervous wrecks by the time we got inside the van!

Having worked all day yesterday, we took another day off and headed inland this time to look at what they call the Hinterland. Nick and Rita had suggested we follow a circular tourist drive whIch took in the best spots. It was good to be seeing a different sort of Australia from the coast we had become used to but it all seemed a bit ordinary at first. Stopped at Kondalilla Falls for a sweaty 2km stroll through bush to see the Falls in the distance; nice but not wow ... On to Montville which seemed to consist solely of places to spend money; a pure tourist trap, the place was, again, nice but certainly not wow. The rest of the drive was more of the same although the countryside and the views did become more interesting. As we drove along the road heading towards Kenilworth, Helen spotted a sign for The Bellbird Creek Cafe and, as we got closer, we became more certain that it was the bikers' cafe we had contacted with the hope of a HelpX placement (he couldn't accommodate us for the week we wanted as his daughter was staying). Sure enough, this was the place - talk about a small world! Spent some time chatting with the owner who remembered our emails; he said he would love to have us next time ...

The next day we continued our 'work a full day, next day off' policy and grafted all day to finish the downstairs room. Highlight of a long day was Nick's lunch creation. The name escapes me but basically they were fried spicy sausage shaped rissoles: mmm mmmm! Finally finished the floor at around 7pm, covered in paint and knackered. Poor old Helen had blisters from rolling the floor and had to leave before the end because she was feeling sick from the noxious smell of the paint. What a day. Sat outside for dinner and were entertained by possums sitting in the tree next to the table. Strange feeling being stared at by a possum ...

Last full day here and a day off. On the recommendation of Cedric, we went to Eumundi for the market. What a great find! Amazingly varied stalls selling quality goods. Also found the latest best coffee in Australia ... seriously; it would have been a 9.5 on the NZ coffee rating scale. Helen topped up her wardrobe with some lovely clothes and we had a decent tapas style lunch. Low spot of the day was returning to our car to find a parking ticket to the tune of $100! Seems we had parked in a 2 hr zone without realising it. That will teach us to be more vigilant.

Time to move on. Up early to say goodbye to Rita before she bolted off to work. She really is a whirlwind of energy just dashing here there and everywhere all in the space of a few seconds. Sat around with Nick for a while looking at photos of his antique business. Finally said goodbye (good riddance?) to the caravan and set off for Rainbow Beach. It's been an interesting week with Nick and Rita; not easy like Seva's and certainly not the 'at home' feel we had there but interesting all the same.

Called in at the gold mining museum at Gympie (what a great name!) which turned out to be a bit of a gem ... Long road leading to Rainbow Beach that seemed to go on forever and then finally arrived at Debbie's Place, our home for the night. What a find! Possibly the best accommodation we have had so far; clean, spacious and everything you could hope for. Debbie turned out to be this rough at the edges, larger than life woman who kind of typifies Aussie women: blunt, funny, raucous ...

On the way to Rainbow Beach, Helen got in touch with Ruth's brother Tim who lives with new wife and two kids in Tin Pan Bay, twenty minutes away. Between Helen and Tim's wife Kerry-Leigh, arrangements were made to meet up for food and drinks in the pub in Rainbow Beach. So glad Helen fixed this up as we had a great evening. Odd to have that sort of an evening so far away from home with, to Tony, perfect strangers but thoroughly enjoyed the evening. For Helen, it was strange to meet up with Tim who she knew as a 16-20 year old from visits to Ruth's home while we at university.

Early start today as we were aiming to get to Tin Can Bay to see the feeding of the dolphins. Should have stayed in bed actually as the whole thing was a bit of a disappointment. The coffee was crap, the breakfast greasy, there was too much vinegar in the baked beans (why put vinegar in beans - beyond us?) and there were only two dolphins and not a lot to see. Headed off to Mooloolaba to meet up with Beryl who has agreed to put us up for a couple of nights. She is Ruth's Mom's cousin and has been in Australia for a long time. Stopped in Mooloolaba itself for a coffee as we were early and got the soaking of our lives as we stepped from the car. The rain came out of nowhere and people were running from the beaches and dripping in doorways; quite amusing really.

Arrived at Beryl's to find her living in a large ground floor apartment in a block with views of the sea on both sides. A lovely spot. Put in some serious R & R round the pool recovering from the rigours and emotional trauma of a week in the bush. Great evening sitting outside chatting with Beryl and sipping good red wine.

Bit of a lazy start to the next day, then a walk around the headland, through the little park and down to a coffee shop for first coffee of the day. Apart from a couple of people, we were the only ones strolling; everyone else was power walking or running. Exhausting - glad to sit down in and up the caffeine levels!

Lunch in the Yacht Club and then a whistlestop tour of the very expensive houses built around the man made channels and islands which come off the river. Talk about how the other half live! Multi-million dollar houses with big gates and designer grass. Yuk!

Another lazy afternoon round the pool then steak and salad dinner sat looking over the sea. Bliss. We were a bit worried about turning up on the doorstep of someone we had never met before and then staying for two nights. All fears completely unfounded. Beryl has proved to be the most generous of hosts and we have had a fabulously relaxing time here. She is also a most inspiring woman. At 76 she is a committed intrepid and independent traveller. Helen intends to have her as a role model for her later life.

Time to move on so left for Byron Bay. After much debate, we finally decided to give Byron Bay a go. It is one of those places that everyone talks about and we have had some disappointments at other places that everyone talks about ...

Seemed a long drive today; maybe being on motorways for a lot of the time didn't help plus it was really warm despite air con in the car. Distinct grumpiness in the air by the time we arrived! Hostel for the night pretty basic (and full of young people) but it did have a good cafe right next door where we cheered ourselves up with good food and it was right over the road from the beach which, like all the other Aussie beaches we have been on, was long, had perfect soft sand and great surf for being stupid in!

Went into Byron itself for the evening and discovered an interesting mix of ageing hippies and young, beautiful twenty somethings. Saw some of the best dressed backpackers so far. Really good food although the 'do you think they have forgotten us' bug struck yet again. Still, we did get a free starter by way of compensation.

Overall feelings on Byron Bay? Glad we've seen it but wouldn't rush back. Less of a built up tourist mecca than other places we have been to but still wouldn't rush back.

Rather than rush back up to Brisbane, decided to detour inland and, once again, the hinterland proved more attractive than the coast. Best place on the route was called Bungalow where we stopped for breakfast and a discussion with the local hairdresser. Breakfast a success but the stylist hadn't turned up so we moved on. Got the feeling that there is plenty of comfortably off people around here; one estate agent was selling a plot of land - no buildings, just land - for $1.6 million. We left.

Guide books talked about Nimbin as trying so hard to be alternative that it was practically main stream. Seemed to be full of candle workshops, herbal stores and tie-die. We left.

Headed to the coast and Tweed Heads, principally to pay homage to dear old Jimmy Cook at a monument there. Turned out to be the biggest monument we'd ever see; towering columns with lights on the top and the border between Queensland and New South Wales running through the middle. One side of the line it was 11am and the other it was 10 am. Bizarre. We left.

Not being able to put it off any longer, we hit the Sunshine Motorway and cruised into Brisbane. Once again, the curse of the motorway took over and grumpiness set in. Despite this, Helen put in what can only be described as a truly inspirational piece of navigating. Relying solely on a random collection of tourist brochures and a couple of pages from the Lonely Planet guide, she negotiated our way from motorways, along freeways, through tunnels and across bridges to find our accommodation. Brilliant. And she still found time to take photographs!

Staying in New Farm area of Brisbane at a hostel called Bowen Terrace Accommodation. It's excellent; not too far out from the centre with great facilities. A far cry from the one at Byron Bay! New Farm is also home of the Taj Mahal restaurant which brands itself as 'Catering to the Indian Cricket Team'. Had to go there didn't we ...


Main task today is 'the haircut'. Helen found a hairdresser which she thought just might be the one where she could get the full-on short hair job. Tony decided he couldn't watch so sat outside a nearby coffee bar to wait. His jaw didn't exactly drop as Helen walked from the hairdressers but it was pretty close! The cut was fantastic; short with some of the dark colour still kept at the ends. Helen looked amazing, a real transformation.

Walked down to the river and caught the City Cat ferry into the city. If you are staying anywhere near the river in Brisbane, this is the way to travel. Fast, efficient and pretty cheap. Brisbane operates a card system which can be topped up and used on all forms of transport. Well worth buying even for a couple of days. Went to Gallery of Modern Art. Never sure about modern art galleries but this was good. Spoiled only by the zillions of school kids of all ages and sizes just generally making a noise. They have some bizarre uniforms at Brisbane schools including short grey pants and long socks which look stupid on 15 year old hunky young men and grey suits and ties which look stupid on 7 year olds and silly tartan frocks and boaters which just look stupid.

Headed off to the West End area for something to eat and found some good, reasonably cheap places. Three Monkeys Cafe worth a visit for coffee and cakes (we declined of course). Great atmosphere and good coffee. By the time we left there, the skies were darkening and it looked as though the predicted storm was arriving so we headed back home. Luckily not a lot of rain although we heard on the news that places we had been through on the way down here were seriously hit with 100 kph winds and 40+mm rain. It's a hard land this Oz!

Morning found us having possibly the best coffee in Australia just around the corner from our hotel in a small, very French patisserie. Resisting sweet things here was very hard! Bus into the city this time and time spent wondering around. Visited the Brisbane Museum which took about ten minutes; low key to say the least! Went to find Roma Street train station in preparation for tomorrow morning. Not Brisbane's finest ... Continued Helen's salad obsession for lunch although Tony refrained and had healthy veg wrap. The young woman serving was possibly the happiest, over the top, giddy person in Queensland if not the whole of Australia. Not only was she fun, she created the most amazing coffees. Helen's flat white came not with the regulation fern or heart design but with a complete face, hair an' all. Just amazing! All done with dexterity and a tooth pick.

Rest of the day spent buying food, packing and unpacking and packing again and wandering up to the local bar which serves - at long last - a halfway decent Aussie beer. It's called John Squire and both the Amber and Pale Ales are quite good (in a too cold rather gassy Antipodean sort of way). Taxi booked for 5:15 in the morning to get us to the station for our 14 hr train ride. Yet another example of just how big this bloody country is.

Longest bloody day of our lives - ever!! Alarm went off at 4:30am and taxi arrived at 5am. So far so good. Got to station too early (of course, guess who organised the taxi) but it did give us time for coffee and breakfast. Got to platform to check in bags only to be told Tony's was overweight. Took out Helen's toilet bag and weighed it in again; ok, underweight. Still running to plan. Platform announcement that train was running 40 minutes late; oh dear. And so began the aforementioned longest day, etc. The only good thing about the day was that we saw some amazing views and lots and lots of kangaroos.

Arrived in Sydney, tired and less than thrilled. Spirits slightly uplifted by directions to our Kings Cross train from the most helpful policeman. Arrived in Kings Cross (which apparently bears remarkable similarities to our very own Kings Cross) and found hostel. Fell into bed swearing never to take the train again ...

Hostel pretty good. As usual, we were the oldest people there by far but no noise problems so far. Plan for the day: bus into the centre and be tourists. First stop Central Keys where all the main sights ie Bridge and Opera House, are in full view. Have to say, it was pretty amazing seeing those iconic sights first hand. Wondered round Opera House for a bit then caught ferry to Manly for the beach which turned out to be a good one - crowded but none the less a good beach. Just a we were leaving, the lifeguards announced the arrival of Bluebottle stingers blown in with the wind. Definitely time to go! (Looked up Bluebottles on good old Google later on and it turns out it's the quaint - and typically understated - Aussie name for the Portuguese Man o' War!) Manly will forever be the place where Helen lost her Sushi virginity.

Back to the hostel and then out for our celebratory last Australian meal. Went to a little local French restaurant called Mere Charlotte which was only big enough to seat 16 people. Run by a French couple, it's been operating from the same little venue for more than 20 years. A good meal, some good wine and a fitting end to our Australia experience. Neither of us were that bothered about coming to Oz but we both said we were glad we had (albeit it through clenched teeth for one of us ...). It's been a mixed experience with highs, lows, disappointments, frustrations and fun; we've met some great people and seen fantastic sights. For a more literary view of the Australian experience, read Bill Bryson's Down Under. He starts off with the observation that the ten most deadly creatures in the world live here and goes on to conclude that, despite the many things to put you off the place, it's a country to fall in love with.

Day of departure and, as always, the potential for a flat, wasted day because we weren't travelling until the evening. Not this time though! We found details of a free walking tour on a give-away map and joined a group led by the most charismatic and extrovert young Aussie woman. Three and a half hours later, we had seen and learned far more than we would have done by ourselves plus had the experience of eating a £6 piece of cake! Ever more evidence of what an expensive place this is. Despite the cost of the cake, we both said that we should have allowed an extra day for Sydney. It's a great place!

Only blot on the otherwise unblemished horizon was the discovery that Tony had left his expensive walking shoes in the hostel. We left the hostel in a hurry to make sure we got the shuttle bus in time and Tony grabbed bags and ran, never even thinking about the shoes which he had left out to change into for the journey. If Helen hadn't pointed out that he hadn't changed from flip flops whilst we were about to board the plane, you just wonder how long it would have been before he realised. What a prat!